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Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Cha Ocampo and Her Tweets: A Lesson on Dating Girls with High Standards and Expectations


Wazzup Pilipinas!

"I DISAGREE WITH YOU, CHA OCAMPO.

The real lesson for all girls is: don't be the hoe who dates guys for the sake of eating at fancy places and for feeding your ego. Date someone who has good intentions. Because at the end of the day, money really isn't everything. I'd rather date a broke man who respects me and has values rather than dating a rich douchebag.

Please don't have a mindset like hers." - Stephanie Escasiñas Toledo

"I DISAGREE WITH YOU, STEPHANIE ESCASIÑAS TOLEDO. Stop romanticizing poverty. This ain't a telenovela!
To all the people who are calling Cha Ocampo a gold digger, tigilan nyo kakapanuod ng telenovela na feeling nyo cute na may mayaman at mahirap. Bakit di nyo i-strive na pareho kayo maging mayaman? Hindi puro love-love, lablabin ko kayo dyan eh. Di naman kayo mapapakain nyang pagmamahal na yan. Gusto nyong broke? 'Pag pareho kayong gutom o ikaw lang nagpapakain sa kanya, tignan natin kung mamahalin mo pa yan.
"The real lesson for all LADY? 
First, DON'T BE A LADY WHO CALLS OTHER LADY A "HOE." 
Second, sure, money is not everything but do not live in your little LaLaLand where you think that "when you are hungry, love will keep you alive." 
Cha Ocampo, the original poster, never implied in her tweets that she would date a guy for her to eat at fancy places and to feed her ego. She's just realistic enough to know that dating a man who can't move his ass to even take you to a nice dinner or even a movie is not worth her time. 
Ladies, respect your self and know your self-worth, know what you deserve. You should not aim for a rich guy but aim for someone who can afford to reach your dreams with you.
Finally, do not fucking settle for a "broke man" just because he respects you and values you. BE WITH A MAN WHO MIGHT BE BROKE BUT RESPECTS AND VALUES YOU ENOUGH TO MOVE HIS ASS AND WOULD NOT WANT BE BROKE HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
Not his fault that he was born broke but it would be his fault if he would not even try.
 
PS: Never in my post did I say that I need a man to finance me or the man should be the provider. Stop telling me that I'm a gold digger because I am self-made and I earn my own money. Exactly the reason why I can't be with a dependent guy na laging magpapalibre sa akin. I know the value of money kaya hindi rin ako nagpapalibre. This applies to both men and women! Work so you won't be a burden to your partner and so you can enjoy things together. 
I won't lower my standards because I know what I deserve." - Jackylynne Lambino

"If a man is man enough and loves you enough, he will work his ass off to better himself and to give you what you deserve. Never settle for less! Date someone who at the very least never stops trying to be better, in all aspects. Hindi yung magtititigan lang kayo habang kumakanta ng Love Will Keep Us Alive.

This isn't about dependent men or women. This isn't even about gender or who's supposed to do which. Point is, it's best to choose someone who works hard to sustain him/herself. Again, gender isn't the issue here. Ang point lang, humanap ka ng marunong magbanat ng buto at ikaw mismo magsumikap din, dahil kung di mo kayang buhayin sarili mo o wala kang balak umasenso, wala kang karapatang mag-asawa. It goes both ways.

It fucking sucks kahit mahal mo ang tao. I agree na everyone - male or female - should work their asses off before entering a relationship para di maging pabigat. I won't be able to live with myself if I become a burden to someone else, especially to my partner.

We're not necessarily asking for a man to spoil us with expensive things, so long as he can stand on his own, that's more than enough. Pero kung pati sarili nya hindi nya kayang bitbitin, how much more in the long run? How will you start a future together? Relationships require hardwork from both sides. Minsan hindi enough ang love lang." - Angel Salazar
"Ang sinasabi ko lang, mas maraming babae sa panahon ngayon na kapag wala ka, hindi ka papansinin. Kaya advice sa mga boys, para habulin kayo ng mga babae, maging successful muna kayo. Goals before hoes. Tapos, galingan nyo na lang pumili. Yung hindi GOLD DIGGER." - Christine Joy Casil

Cha Ocampo did imply the thought that she will only date a man who would do that for her as seen in her tweet. And if it's not worth her time, why tweet about it? Freedom of expression, okay. But since she has that freedom and clearly each one of us do, she is responsible for her statements and she should realize that she opened it for other's interpretation. If you haven't read her reaction sa social media she posted a link of her blog post on her wall. Read through it and see how she is opposing her stand/ideals.

She specifically said she would not date a person who would not take her to a nice dinner place or a movie. What does dating mean to you anyway. Well for me, it is a getting to know phase may it be between friends or future lovers. And she's being flat out selective. It implies that she wouldn't even bother knowing you as a person if you can't do such things for her. That's being not only selective but needy too. A woman should not be taught that. Likewise for men. And she did call out ALL girls as seen on her tweet. And again her blog post clearly opposed her tweets.

The problem is Cha Ocampo has all the right thoughts but it is written in wrong words. Many people misunderstood her and started calling her names like "gold digger". A biggest shame for a guy na babae ang gumastos sa date. Lakas kaya makababa ng EGO ng lalake kapag babae ang taya sa date. But we cant deny the fact that there are still girls who still date guys para lang makakain sa fancy restaurants at kapag moment of truth na ayaw pala sa guy. Kung ayaw nyo sa guy, sabihn nyo agad hindi yung aabusuhin nyo.

But I don't agree with people calling her a bitch and hoe. 


People just don't understand the word "STANDARDS" but on the other side, of course, women should work their ass off too before asking a man to do/give something for them. The last time I checked, this is the 21st century. It is not solely the man's responsibility to provide for the family anymore. It is BOTH the man and the woman's. People want equal gender rights yet they are still trapped in a bubble where men are work slaves and women are care providers. Both are capable of doing both.

Understanding is different from Stooping Down. In a relationship, Understanding is the proper way to know what your partner is going through. Stooping down will have the tendency to drag you both down.

Hanap kayo nang lalaking mahal ka na, kaya ka pang buhayin. Yun dapat! Tsaka yung kaya ka panindigan kapag nabuntis ka, hindi yung tira lang ng tira pag naka 3points tatakbuhan ka. Actually, dapat pantay lang. hehe. hanap din ng babae na pantay ang tingin. give and take kumbaga. Pero for meeeee, dapat hindi mo hanapin. Mag-aral ka ng mabuti, at magsikap. Kasi pag edukada kang babae, lalaki na mismo maghahabol sayo, at hindi lang basta basta. Meron din kayang babaeng mahal ka na kaya ka pang buhayin?😂 Bakit puro lalaki na lang palagi?

Nakakaloka na isipin na "Love stoops down to the level of your lover."  Ano, so kung mahirap lover mo, magpapaka-mahirap ka na lang? Lagi mo iintindihin weakness nya? If you love a person, know and understand his weakness, encourage him to step up his game but don't stoop to his level. I will never go down his level just to encourage him. I will work hard nang ma-inspire siya.

At some point, kailangan tanggapin kung ano man ang partner mo, pero kung walang balak magbago at ganon nalang pananaw sa buhay pagdating ng panahon na may responsibilidad na. Ayun ang nakakabahala. Nako di naman nila sinabing huwag kang magmahal ng mahirap. As long as nagsusumikap.

It's one thing to motivate your partner pero if he can't lift himself up mas mabuti pa munang matutunan niya yung halaga ng hard work, independence, at self-worth bago siya pumasok sa relationship. It takes two to tango, ladies and gents! Strive for your own individuality.

Remember, Cha Ocampo is a blogger (thought leader or influencer) and she should be more careful in how she phrases things. She has to remember that not all of her followers are the thinking kind....some are overthinking!. Lol!

*Photos from Cha Ocampo social media accounts

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